hmm....

Currently Watching Samurai Champloo - Volume 7 see related

So anyone can hurt me, and they do.

Since when is it "in" to be materialistic and ignorant? Since when did someone step in and say "hey, it's cool to be full of yourself."

Well let me just say I didn't get the memo.

Looking back (yes I'm already looking back at this long ass quarter of a year bound to drag on) I've come across some interesting people. As far as the people I already knew, well...I came across some interesting attitudes. Reading this, one could think:

"Does that mean me?"
"What the fuck is she talking about?"
"I'm not like that, am I?"
"She's dumb anyway, I won't listen to her."

Good. That's just to get my point across.

It's been a truly gruesome couple of months due to the choir concert/evita/backstage cabaret being back-to-back with weekends and I still haven't been able to get my car fixed. I feel bad having to call people for rides, but at the same time I have to work with everyone else's time schedules because I guess it's too inconsiderate of me to ask and just mooch and lurk around. I guess I'm just too generous and try not to hold things against someone.

Suggestions I make or rants I decide to make don't seem to have an impact. They're just bitching and moaning times about people who wouldn't give a rats ass if I shot my own foot off. But if I shot theirs, yes. A whole different story.

If I did something to myself and said nothing about it, I'm sure it wouldn't get noticed. But since flaunting is the recent trend I may as well try that or -- no. I can't be like you.

What I'm trying to get at is this.
Someone in the play once told me that people eventually move on...people grow up and out of the shells that they claimed "open" or themselves "out of". It changes. As much as I hate to admit, I'm sure we'll part ways at some point. And all I'll have to show for it is a bag full of bullshit and memories and an "Oh well" and a sigh.

I'm not doing anything for "you". I'm doing everything for myself. As selfish as that sounds, that's how the world works. Get over it. I don't know if any of this will even make sense, and if it does...good.

But on the other hand.

Evita went very well. To those of you who saw it, thank you for supporting the Drama department and the talent and effort and blood, sweat and tears that went into it. I look forward to seeing Anibal, Wendy and "Donna" (teehee) this weekend if they can come to Cabaret -- if not I hope to see them down in LA sometime. There are tons of memories I will cherish and some I won't forget through the duration of Evita. I guess it's all a matter of playing out this year and seeing where it brings me.

Currently Watching Samurai Champloo - Volume 1 see related

La Santa Peronista...

We've pulled through an entire weekend of EVITA!! For those of you who have seen it, I hope you enjoyed the show...for those of you who haven't, then get your asses down to the COS theatre to reserve tickets for this weekend's show! We're doing so well, I"m totally stoked. Something else to shout for us to all shout for joy; Anibal (our "Che"), invited his LA friends to come on down and scope the show and they said they loved me!! I may have LA calling me this summer...I'm SO stoked.

I'm probably going to go car-hunting this week, once I figure out how much it will be to fix and then sell my old one...it'll be car time! And the show is closing which = more time for work & stuff!!! I'm hoping AcmeTan calls me back so I can work double and catch up on my money (which, I've been doing pretty well at recently)...woot! Wait...Taxes are next month?! Boooo....

Tiredness...

SLEEP!

Currently Watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Vol. 4 By Aqua Teen Hunger Force see related

So what happens now?

We're ok...right? If it happens again, I don't know what you should do with me. I wouldn't know what to do, either...But We're ok.

I love you.

The show opens in 2 days...I'm very anxious, and happy that it all came together. Wendy was actually right -- it takes a grueling week of tech rehearsals to put it all together and have people come to the realization that "HELLO?! We're doing a friggin show, people!"...

I hope everyone comes to see it -- and those who do? ENJOY!

Currently Listening Silent Hill 4: The Room Your Rain see related

Another bite too big to chew.

Maybe it's the fact that I feel like I can't be a kid for any longer.
Maybe it's the fact that people like to think of themselves rather than others for the majority of their existence.
I did say you should be out for number one, didn't I?
I guess I was just talkin' shit.

You can go laugh and have your fun, whining to me about how you think things should be.
I didn't want to talk to you anyway.
I never once went up to you and told you what I think you should say, in any given situation.
I don't have anything planned out, scripted, or anything like that.
Fuck the fact that I have to support everyone and everything, with the little I have.
And you.

Because of the fact that I want to be alone?
I'm the bitch.
I'm the fucked up one.
I'm the one everyone thinks is "mean".

This is the five-billionth "are you even caring about me" conversation we've had. Have I ever asked for gratitude? Have I ever shit-fitted because of something I never got from you?
I didn't think so.

Leave then.